Through the Stillness

I have concluded today is going to be one of those days for me.  I am in the mood to write. So, here is my third blog of the day…

There are moments throughout the day, in the midst of all the busyness, where I get caught up in the moment.  Most of these moments accompany thoughts of parenthood. My kids are out of diapers and one is in 1st grade and I still stop and think, “I’m really a parent, aren’t I?”  I feel as though this entire day has been one of those moments.  Time feels slower and my mind is at ease.

I glance at my present situation. Matt and the boys are laying around watching a movie. I obviously am typing out my thoughts––thoughts of this wonderful little life of mine. I think of all the little steps Matt and I took to get here.  Some steps hurt and some felt like we were gliding. Nonetheless, we are here.  We are right where we should be.  We are right where I want to be.

I always wanted to be a mom.  I always wanted the exact life I am living right now. It seems so surreal. Like this is really happening, isn’t it?  I’m not a teen daydreaming in my bedroom.  I’m an adult. Matt is the type of husband I envisioned marrying.  Luke and Oliver are amazing.  I live in the type of house I imagined with the type of yard (one with beautiful trees) I imagined.  I don’t think I would want to change one thing about my life. Except maybe the eleven gray hairs I counted on my head this morning. But truly, my gray hairs are all a part of this beautiful journey. To go back to a time without them would be tragic. Because all I would be doing is dreaming of this life I have right now. This life that I cannot believe is real, it really is real.

I thank God everyday for my blessings. I know how quickly life can change and I know my life won’t always feel this great. So I stress to my kids every single day that we are so very blessed. I want my kids to realize this life they live is everything I (their mom) ever wanted. Even on the not so fun days I cannot imagine any other life. I never dreamed of fame.  I dreamed of this.  I dreamed of them.  I am living my dreams.