Yesterday afternoon I watched as you walked up from Golf Camp. You had a dramatic look on your face, much like the many dramatic facial expressions I too have. You were the only kid not carrying your golf bag. I’m sure because you somehow talked someone else into carrying it for you. I watched as you told the person, “Okay, you can give it to me now.” I watched as you walked up to me and sighed, “Why couldn’t they just let us take a golf cart.” One of the coaches was watching you too and he chuckled. It was in that moment I realized I don’t watch you enough.
I get caught up in parenting. I love you and you are such a blessing. But our biggest blessings carry with them responsibility, worry, work, and so much more. I worry more about you because of your Ocular Albinism. I know I sometimes worry too much. I know because when I pull (or yank) myself out of being your mom and just watch––I see that you are going to be okay.
I watched you last night during wrestling. You are so witty and sarcastic. You had everyone in the room laughing––the kids, the coach, and the parents.
I watched you after wrestling as we left. You caught up with your friend. You two talked like grown-ups and us parents watched and laughed. You like to relate to people just as I do. You are not big on small talk. Kid, I’m not either.
I watched you this morning as you dug through your golf bag looking for something. You were acting like a grumpy old man. Oh boy, you are stuck in your ways. You are a very strong-willed child. I read somewhere that the most strong-willed children usually become the most independent in life. I need to remind myself of that more often.
I will never stop being your parent. I will never stop worrying about you. I will never stop trying to point you in the right direction. I will never stop trying to encourage you to be the best person possible.
I want you to know hard work pays off. I want you to be accountable for your actions. I want you to have fun in life too. I want so much for you because you deserve it.
I will never be a perfect parent. I realize that is okay. I promise to never stop trying, though. I also promise to stop and just watch you more. You are an awesome kid and I am so very proud of you. Happy Birthday, Luke. I cannot believe you are seven years old today.