Through the Stillness

It’s four days into December, four days into the season of advent. These past four days I have felt a bit out of sorts. I mourn for things of this world that are mainly outside of my control. I fully know and recognize this and yet the heaviness refuses to lift. I long for my usual ‘at home’ feeling I had only five days ago.

I tell myself it’s okay to let go and mourn whatever it is I’m mourning. Life and all its stresses relentlessly chase you down and seem to catch up at the least opportune times. Maybe I’m just searching for the light. It’s just, I cannot help to think it is sometimes good to yearn for something more than what this world is giving you. You know, like, this life can be rough and I want peace and ease. The impossiblity of peace and ease make me call out to Jesus. It reminds me of my weaknesses and my inability to do everything I feel pressured to do and take care of in this world.

So, this advent I will allow myself to feel, to let go, and yearn for more. I will allow myself to miss the people I miss. I will yearn for an easier life for me, my husband, and my kids. I will wish for their struggles and my own to disappear. Then I will wait and wait some more. For the day will surely come when my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will wipe away all my tears. And that, my friends, is a hope nothing in this world can take away from me.