I felt God as I watched Luke, tired and worn, with his head down walking up to me after school. His arm jerked up to his chest and his opposite leg jerked up immediately after. He glanced around with fear in his eyes. The tics growing ever worse and his anxiety over the fear of people noticing sent a twinge of sadness through every part of me. God was still there though. His loving presence reminded me of the hope we carry in the trials of life.

I heard God through Luke as his fingers danced along the piano keys. Joy traveled from his heart to his fingers to the keys and then to the hearts of all who heard. God was unmistakably there.

I saw God as Oliver listened intently as I explained why Luke struggles with life due to his vision problems, his ADHD, his tics, his anxiety, and all the ripple effects they cause. He nodded, he understood, he cared, and then we prayed. I saw God ever more clearly as I witnessed Oliver caring for his brother the days after our conversation. God stood in the midst of Oliver’s patience, his love, and his words.

Life, our life, is not an easy one…especially as of late. Some days I feel as though I alone carry Luke’s, Oliver’s, Matt’s, and my own weight. I feel alone and unsupported as though I may topple over at any given moment. Then, I cry out. I pick up the phone and hear my mom or dad’s voice. I receive a text from a caring friend. My husband embraces me. My kids smile. I remember that God is there, He is always there. He’s always been there. Through the pain and the joys of our simple little life God alone carries us through. It isn’t me. It never has been. It is God through me and with me. I am never alone. Praise God (insert happy dance)!