I’ve been staring at this blank page for quite some time. I type a few words. I read the words aloud and then my  finger presses the delete button in a somewhat melodic tune. The process repeats itself. I’m not even sure if it is that I cannot find the right words or if a habit has been formed. I am going to force myself to break through the silence of this page and only press the delete button for editing purposes.  Maybe freely sifting through my thoughts is what I need…

Dear Blog,

I talked to my mom today on some things that have been weighing on me as of late. As I sipped on my coffee and listened, I wondered how I went through my mid to late teen years thinking I didn’t need her advice as much as I actually did. Simple and yet profound is the wisdom she gives. Never has she leaned toward worldly ways. There’s always a following of the Holy Spirit and a confidence that God carries you where you need to be when you trust and obey. Sometimes, I just need to hear my momma say what I already know. I already know because I had her to show me.

There are times when we can’t see beyond the surface and we aren’t supposed to. Maybe we can’t see because it places the control on us, instead of on God. We have to trust in His ways, His timing, and His pulling or pushing.

I found an old journal the other day as I was going through boxes. The first entry spoke of Matt and “what a great guy he is and how I hope to marry him one day.” Another journal was when he proposed to me. One was when I was pregnant. The last was when Luke was ten months old. I read some of the entries to Luke and it was such a great bonding moment. It may be my inspiration for writing this post as well.

My dog is flatulent. I mean, it is beyond normal dog gas. The smell is about to make me pass out. If I start rambling nonsense, it is probably from the toxic fumes.

My blog. I don’t know where to take it next. I feel like I’m being led somewhere, I just don’t know where yet. thats is why I haven’t had as many posts. I need to do some more praying.

It is a bit crazy to watch your kids grow into themselves. I watched my oldest with a special needs kid the other day. His patience and compassion beamed through. There was not one glimpse of him feeling like he had to, it was Luke being Luke.

Between talking to my mom and rambling on in this post, I feel much better. Thanks, blog!





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