The Judgement Files-Bird Of A Feather

There are times when I pray and pray. I follow the pull to do something and then things happen that are too inline to be a coincidence. This little series of mine has been another example of this. All I can do is shake my head at the timing of things.

I guess the best place to begin is with a poem I jotted down the other day to clear my mind:

I remember the you you once were.

That was the real you, the beautiful you.

The you who told me I was pretty when I didn’t feel so.

The you who was brilliant, funny, smart, and ambitious.

I don’t want to remember the you who slipped away.

The you trapped by the pains of this world.

The you that felt like a stranger the last we met.

The you that makes me hate this world.

The you that shows me my judgmental ways.

It was easier to walk away from someone like you.

They told me it was the smart choice.

Who needs that sort of trouble in their life?

I was “too good” to hang around that sort of trouble.

I wish I could have seen what I see now.

You didn’t ask for any of that.

No one does, no one would.

Still, I cannot push it all out of me.

The judgement is still there.

I would tell my kids to walk away too.

I know it is wrong.

We need to walk alongside those like you.

We need to fight the world together.

But, that would be too hard.

Wouldn’t it?

I wrote this about someone I was once very close to. I would run into her from time to time and we would hug, catch up, and exchange numbers. I would throw out an empty promise to keep in touch. In the back of my mind I would think of all the trouble she was. Trouble as in the real kind of trouble you try to steer your kids way from. Birds of a feather flock together and that would have been like trying to put hawk feathers with a cardinal. They just don’t flock together, you know?

I know Jesus chose to fly with all birds. That’s what made people turn their heads. It made many upset and furious and probably confused too. Jesus saw the larger picture, though. He saw the pain they never asked for. He saw the sin…but more…He saw beyond the sin. He saw the person, the real person, not the person this world has turned them into.

Can I ever be brave enough to do the same? Is there enough strength to keep standing each time I am knocked over? Am I able to hold my head high when I myself feel wrongly judged?

So, something happened to the person I wrote about that has me reevaluating. Something, the same something, happened to three people I was close to this last year that has me reevaluating what this world tells you is the smart thing to do.

Since this same thing happened to that many people in my life in such a short time, I feel I have a duty to dig deeper for the solution. Especially when it has caused so much grief that I haven’t been able to get past. I’ve seen the ripple effect it has caused since the others…and I now I know what is to come in the lives closest to this most recent oneimage.

I don’t have the answers. I wish I had all the answers. The one thing I know is no one ever really chooses pain (sin) in life. We need to stop asking why people make the choices they make. Instead, we need to start asking why people feel they have no other choice than to do what they do. That’s where the answers lie. That is how we can see past their trouble and seek solutions. That is how we truly love our neighbors.

This has been a tough series because it very much slaps me in the face as well. It needs to be said, though. We all need to hear it. If we honestly evaluate the state of things that are coming to a head all at once, it tells us we need to step out of our safe little nests and fly against the wind of this world as Jesus did.


17 responses to “The Judgement Files-Bird Of A Feather”

  1. It’s a hard issue. Jesus spent time with everyone, but remember he also said, “Go and sin no more.” He expected people to try to be on the straight and narrow. There’s also a verse in Proverbs about watching what company you keep.

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    • I know, it is a hard issue and he did indeed say that. But at the heart of the matter, he was not judging. That’s where it gets tricky. I see your side as well. I see myself and my “too nice” tendencies, and know I need stand stronger at times. It is just all the hurt in this world. All the things in life people didn’t ask for leads me to wanting to help and wanting to show love. Walking away instead of being there isn’t the answer. We all deserve more.

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  2. Very thought-provoking. I expect I’ll be thinking on this post for a few days or weeks. It’s a tricky line to walk between loving like Jesus and linking our lives up with people. As someone who’s not good at saying no, I tend to draw back way before I think someone will ask too much from me…because I’ve let myself get in too deep with situations before

    But like you- I don’t believe walking away is the answer. I also don’t believe inviting risky folks into our whole lives is the answer either. The only way we can do this well is by walking close with Jesus and following Holy Spirit direction in our lives. I don’t think there’s anyway around getting messy and making mistakes sometimes, but lives are worth it…souls are worth it, right?

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  3. He saw the sin…but more…He saw beyond the sin. He saw the person, the real person, not the person this world has turned them into. Praise God for this truth! Thank you sharing and it opened my eyes a little more to re-evaluate myself and relationships I have.

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  4. Stacy- this laid heavy on my heart, but in a good way. Even the “least of these” need a light. And if we don’t try to be the light for those, if we’re a separate kind of bird and turn our heads, if we don’t want to be associated with the name that their sin has brought them, will they ever find the light? This is something I’ve been thinking about and have been thinking about for a while. Your post, I think, has made that thought dig in a little deeper, front and center in my mind.

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  5. Thanks for sharing this Tracy. We all feel that way sometimes. However we must be patient and avoid nagging. Knowing full well that we were once like them. And as we continue to play our parts in words and actions, the power of prayers must not be underestimated. God will always crown our efforts when we hand over the situation to Him . God bless

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  6. What I love about Jesus is that he loved with an open heart all the time. He didn’t stop hurt or pain from closing his heart up. yet he kept healthy boundaries. God’s love is a mature and deep love. its a love that stays open and vulnerable yet healthy and mature. God has challenged me on this and is leading me to love unconditionally because I choose to love no matter how people behave. Its still hard though and I haven’t got it all figured out.

    Great post 🙂

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  7. Oh Stacy! I can feel your pain so much. I’ve watched so many people just explode their lives to pieces and I always think, “What if I had been a little more involved?” While it’s true that Jesus associated with all people (and that as Christians we need to flock with any birds that will join us), it’s also true that we’re not responsible for everybody else’s lives and ultimate destination either. The only thing we can do is to seek God’s will for our lives each and every day. Sometimes that means building a relationship with others. Sometimes it means keeping our schedule clear so that we can focus on what God has for us. The trick is learning to follow the Holy Spirit during these times.

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    • You are absolutely right! We are not responsible for everyone else’s lives. That is something I am too hard on myself over. Also true that we need to follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  8. I really think you hit the nail on the head. We need to ask people why they feel they have no choice, but to make the decisions they do. Great perspective!

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