Through the Stillness

Grandma,

There is a stinging in the depths of the void you left behind. Is it strange to say I am grateful for this void?  The pain of you being gone hurts, but it somehow reminds me of all I have to be thankful for in this life. It illuminates the power of love. Your void makes me whole, if that is even possible.

I think of the way God makes each and every one of us to be unique… and it all makes sense. There is no way to fill a void of anyone who has left you. There never will be anyone else like that person in your life.  The mark never fades. They are always a part of what makes you tick. Grandma, you are a part of what makes me tick.

My void really isn’t a void. It’s a space, but it isn’t empty. It’s filled with memories. It isn’t just filled with memories, though. It holds the me that came out of knowing you. The me, that remembers to never take life too serious. The me that loves to write–because you taught me to use my imagination.  The me, you and only you gave me.

Tomorrow it will be four years since you left me. I will never forget you. I will always remember the laughs, all the coffee, all the card games we had at your kitchen table. I am so blessed you are a part of me. God surely knew what He was doing when He made you my Grandma.

With all my love, Stacy.