Luke has been asking to take piano lessons. We had a few things going on and said this spring/summer we would get him started. I decided to start looking a couple weeks ago. Oh, but wait. With his eye disorder he will require more energy than just picking up the phone and setting up a lesson. So the search began to find someone with at least a little experience with someone with special needs. Especially at first to get him acquainted with the basics.
Today, I finally found a piano instructor. I spoke with her over the phone and it took all I had not to cry happy tears. He has his first lesson next week. She had so much excitement in her voice, true excitement, so I know it is a good fit. I cannot tell you how much weight is now off my shoulders.
It is never easy when you have a kid with special needs. I am not writing this looking for sympathy. I just don’t think people are aware of how hard it is. Constant worry and researching. Making sure his IEP is being followed through. Building his confidence. Loving him but trying not to baby him too much. I know in many ways we have babied him too much and now we are trying to reverse that a bit. It is so hard. I just want the best for him. I just want him to have a good life. Deep down I know he will. He is a strong person with a sometimes too strong personality.
My Luke has a limitless way of thinking and living. He wants to try it all. I want him to try it all. I don’t want any of his struggles to slow him down. But, not everyone is able to accommodate him. It doesn’t seem fair. But then, it isn’t fair to expect others to step up and make extra effort for one kid. But, I so want them to. But, not everyone is equipped for that.
It always takes more effort, which of course I am willing to give. I have to worry about showing my youngest attention as well. We do a lot more for Luke and I don’t ever want Oliver to feel left out. From what I have heard it is inevitable. He will feel we do more for Luke because we will always have to do more for Luke. It is a sad reality we as a family have to deal with and make the best of.
I know there are people who have children with greater needs than Luke. I know I am blessed in many ways. Still, it is never easy.