The other day a Facebook friend posted a prayer request. I typed my usual “praying for you” reply, sent a quick prayer…more of a thought up to God, and went on with my day. Sitting in bible study during prayer, my mind drifted to my long to-do list. Listening to the pastor during prayer, I was half there and half trying to get my five year old son to stand still.
I feel ashamed, but I feel compelled to share this with others. I have to believe I am not alone in this fault. In times of hardships and desperation, my prayers are whole. Or, if it is someone I am very close to, I pray as if I were praying for myself.
I truly am a caring, sympathetic person. I cry for people who are struggling that I do not know personally. If I see someone crying, forget it––I will be crying right there with them. I could go on defending myself, but the purpose of this blog is to be accountable, not to make excuses.
I know in this busy life, it is hard to be fully present. It is hard to remember everyone who needs prayers. It is hard when you have forces pulling you away from becoming closer to God. Regardless of hard it is, I want desperation in all my prayers. It is something I need to hold myself accountable for. When I say I will pray for you…I want to mean it.
I do not have a plan of how to achieve this, but I guess admitting my fault is a good place to start.