December, what a month. The beginning was wonderful, almost even magical. I was in the Christmas spirit and so were my kids. Luke and Oliver were full of excitement. I believe I saw Luke bouncing off the walls, literally. Ok not literally but close to it. I had a hope for this Christmas to be one of the best and one I would look back on and remember. Well it was not the best, it was easily the worst Christmas in my life. It was however, one I will always remember.

I am having a hard time with my grandma’s passing. I could go into the specifics of why, but I will not. I believe some things, like the pain I am feeling, are personal. Instead, I will share the light of it. I am blessed to have had her as a grandma and I will forever be a better person because of her.

My grandma’s funeral service was the most beautiful I have ever seen. Everything about it reflected my grandma and the type of person she was. The songs were carefully chosen and were all moving. Amazing Grace was played by a violinist. If You Could See Me Now, reminded us that she is in a better place. Then, Homesick was played. Homesick is a powerful song that always brings tears to my eyes and now has even more meaning to me.

I have never received that much peace at a funeral. From the words spoken by my cousins to the words of the two pastors, one could have no doubt of what an amazing person she was. She touched so many lives.

I don’t want to choose a favorite part or compare the greatness of all who spoke, but to be able to hear my very first pastor again just did something to me. I was taken back to a time when I was just a little girl sitting in the pew listening to him. My child-like faith was revived. I felt a lightness in my soul, stronger than any lightness I have felt in a very long time. I cannot describe it without saying it was the Holy Spirit. I wanted to hold onto the feeling. But one cannot feel that all the time, at least not in this life. I can think of it as a glimpse of what’s to come, or a glimpse of what my grandma is feeling right now and for eternity.

2014 had many downs but I never lost sight of the light or of what really matters. I believe I can face any challenge 2015 will bring. I can face 2015 with hope and with the faith of a child.

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