Yesterday in a bible study we discussed the crosses we bear. It made me remember my cross, that is sometimes too heavy and slows me down, is meant to get me to the other side. Without my cross I cannot get there.

I struggle and there will never be a day that I don’t have some struggle. We all struggle, that is a part of this life. Our struggles are all a part of the cross we bear. Many times I don’t feel I am strong enough to bear the load but God knows best, not me, so I place it on my back and carry on, sometimes grudgingly.

I think about bad things that have happened in the last two years. It started with my grandma dying and has continued through a few more heartbreaking instances––I don’t have the answers for why my grandma was prescribed medicine that caused her massive stroke. I don’t have answers for most things in life but I know there is a reason.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people for the greater purpose. Sometimes that purpose is to bring people closer to God. I was shown this by a dying 90 something year old lady. Working long term care and hospice for so many years taught me a lot about life…and death.

Gertie (not her real name) had a son who visited frequently. The things he said about his mother were beautiful and it was evident that she raised her kids with strong christian beliefs. All he talked about was God and his mother. Gertie was one whose life lingered on and you couldn’t help but wonder how she was still alive. The day she finally passed her son and I were at bedside talking about life and God. He said, “We may not understand why my mom has lived the end of her life like this. But everything happens for a reason. Even my mom dying is happening for a reason. Maybe it is to teach the staff something about God.” (Now I don’t remember the exact words he said but they were pretty close to that.) How right he was. That was over ten years ago and his words still move me to tears. The faith he had…

Knowing why I bear my cross may not make the load lighter but it gives me hope. It also makes me more understanding of others and the crosses they bear. So remember mine and I will remember yours. Together we can help carry the load in times when our strength falters.