I realize I have blogged about these feelings before––but––it doesn’t seem to get any easier going to the eye doctor. I see his face and I am taken back to the moment, to the day that I first heard the words Ocular Albinism. The wise old saying that actions speak louder than words did not apply. It didn’t matter if he was nice (and he was). It didn’t matter how sincere he was when he said he was sorry (which he really was). He could have smacked me across the face and it wouldn’t have mattered. It was only the words.
Dr. Roarty doesn’t bring up the driving issue at every visit but today he did. I think he mentions it to prepare the parents. As of right now, he could not drive with the visual acuity he has. Dr. Roarty’s hope is that his eyes could improve enough to be able to drive…even if it is a restricted license…there is hope. The chance of him not being able to drive is a hard one. I try not to think about it because Luke is only four but I’ll just say that when it is discussed during the appointment, my day is shot. There is no cheering me up.
A few months ago, Luke started scrunching up his left eye…an every once in a while occurrence became more frequent. I asked him why and he said it was so he could see better. Dr. Roarty explained that around this age you can notice more things, more things they find to compensate…to help with the nystagmus (movement of the eyes). An eye patch was prescribed to wear once a day for thirty minutes. The patch is placed over his good eye in hopes it will strengthen his bad eye. If the patch doesn’t work there is the possibility of needing eye surgery to fix the muscles.
Luke’s visual acuity is 20/150 in one eye and 20/125 in the other. With his glasses on his vision is improved but not corrected. That seems to be the thing that confuses people. Yes, even with his glasses he has bad vision…low vision is what it is called. With as bad as Luke’s vision is he does an amazing job. I hear all the time that people do not see how he has trouble seeing. All I can say is that he is a strong little person to compensate the way he does and I am so proud of him because of it.