Oliver has been waking up around 5:30-6:00ish. Out of desperation, we lay him in bed with us in hopes that we can gain more rest. It usually lasts a half hour or so. He climbs on me laughing and poking at my face until I finally get up. I sit up and he climbs out of the bed. First thing he does? Grabs my phone and hands it to me––with a proud look on his face. Adorable, isn’t it? Well not so much. It is sad. Sad that he knows that my phone is that high on my priority list. The funny thing is that phones have always been a pet peeve of mine. I get irritated when people are always on their phone. It is pathetic when you are at a restaurant and can’t have a good old fashioned conversation because you are too busy checking updates on Facebook or sports scores.

I now am that person. I irritate me! I pick up my phone for no reason, hold it in my hand, and feel anxious when it’s not in my sight. Why? Habit or addiction? Ugh. I will say, that when I am playing with my kids I set my phone down (most of the time). Another thing I don’t do, maybe because I am paranoid in public places, is play on my phone at a park. Your kids are playing and you can’t see what they are doing. Hey! Your kid just pushed my kid but you didn’t see it because you were too busy playing Candy Crush. What if someone took your kid and when asked what you were doing you’d have to say, “Uh, playing on my phone?” While my kids are eating a snack or lunch is a different story. My first thought is me wondering where my phone is. Wow.

I know I am not alone in this habit/addiction. I see it everywhere I go. I don’t even want to carry on into the texting while driving issues. Ok, I feel the need to give just one example. The other day a car cut me off when the driver was making a left turn out of a grocery store. The road is a very busy road and she in no way had the space to be turning. My heart sank when I swerved to not hit her (two precious kids in my backseat) and so I look over and she was on her phone…obviously texting! That is brave to be making a left turn while playing on your phone. Think about it, she was leaving the grocery store so I assume she lived close by…why couldn’t she wait to get home to play on her phone? Was it that important that she put her life, my life and, my kids life in danger? I know I may not be as bad as some like the car texter but I am still bad enough that it distresses me.

Will I throw my phone away? No. Do I think phones are the devil? No. Phones have many great qualities and are essential in many ways. I just want to be more present, again. I like having real conversations and feeling the connection it brings by looking people in the eye and conversing. The most paramount possessions are the people right in front of me. No device can replace them. The most precious moments flash by so fast. Did I miss some because I was on my phone?