I would have fallen asleep if a coworker didn’t startle me. My head was resting on the table in the break room––something I never did. He asked me why I was so tired and then told me I was pregnant. I said no and he laughed and said I definitely was. Was that why I was so tired? Oh my. The rest of my work day was blurred. All I could think about was (of course) the possibility of me being pregnant. I got off work and went straight to the store to buy a pregnancy test…actually three tests. First test positive. Second test positive. Third test positive. I felt an excitement I can not describe. Then the nervousness set in.
I was sick most of my first trimester. The second and third trimester was easy. I planned on a natural birth. I read books and practiced breathing techniques and felt at peace with the decision. One night Matt and I were watching tv and something happened (I will spare the details). I went into labor and off we went to the hospital. I could not believe that it was really happening. I was going to be a mother. I stuck with my natural childbirth plan. 23 hours later with no pain medicine started to wear me down. My doctor explained that the baby was not descending. I would have to have a c-section. I was devastated. I felt like my body was failing me. I felt defected that I could not have a natural childbirth. When my doctor lifted Luke up and I heard his cry for the first time, all my sad feelings disappeared.
Plans go wrong all the time when you are a parent. I have learned to be more flexible. With that, I have become a happier person. Today is Luke’s fourth birthday. I can’t believe how much he has grown…I can’t believe how much I have grown. I love you Luke and thank God for bringing you to me.