The house is quiet as I drink my morning coffee. In the past week I haven’t had much quiet and so I soak up the moment. As I sip my warm cup of peace, I can’t help but to think of how quickly our lives have changed. It seems cliche to even think it, you know? Countless times throughout my life I have heard someone tell me how quickly their life has changed. This time is different, though. This time, a virus has swept in and changed all of our lives at the same exact time.
My blog posts have dwindled over the last year or two. I guess I fell into the rhythms of the busy life I have always fought against. Luke went back to school in the fall and Oliver discovered his love for sports. Then there’s piano lessons for both boys. Piano practicing after school. Saxophone praticing after school. Homework. And so on. Oh, and I went back to work. It feels like a lot, but then I feel as though we were all thriving in some way. In other ways not so much. Because, when you say yes to one thing there’s always one or two other things you are saying no to.
Oh how I’ve missed the sound of tapping fingers across the keyboard, even the distinct sound of the delete button as I realize what I typed doesn’t sound just right. This morning I feel a need to get back into writing. When I look back on this time, I want something that tells of how I felt. I want something that tells of me and my family pushing through. More importantly of God pushing us through. So, it may just be me that gets something out of this post. That has to be okay right now.
I work this afternoon. It will be the first time I have worked since things have truly changed. The last day I worked was on the brink of all of this. I remember the conversations I had with some of co-workers and I remember going home and thinking if nurses are worried that must mean something. See, us nurses don’t worry about such things. We have sick people touching and even coughing in our faces on a daily basis. I guess theres some unwritten clause that since we’re healthcare workers it is okay to not cover your mouth when you cough. We still continue on and most can’t imagine doing anything else.
As of today, my husband will be working from home until further notice. My kids are adjusting to the sudden change in everything they knew as normal life. There are moments of anxiety and sadness as we adjust to changes that not so long ago would have seemed odd to even imagine. I think of the sound or sight of neighbors playing in their yard that used to send my kids running to join the fun. It now leads to aching hearts instead of glee. It is just so strange. None of this has been easy for anyone.
There are moments, though. I’ll glance out my window and see families taking walks together more than they did before. I’ll see my boys understanding and strength to think beyond themselves. I’ll read texts from my friends checking in with each other. I’ll hear stories of people helping others. I’ll see the church showing the world the church is far more than a building and that nothing can stop the spreading of God’s light to the world. In these moments I feel God’s peace and I know. I know He’s with us. I know He’ll never leave us or forsake us.