I Don’t Know

I love personality tests. I think it is the way my mind works and my never ending quest to dig deeper into what makes me tick. I’ve taken all the popular ones. I was at a retreat once and we had to take one. The leader went through the results and had us raise our hands to see how many of each group there was. When it came to mine, I quickly raised my hand and then looked around the room. I was the only one. In fact, every test I have ever taken indicates how “unique” I am. Sweet.

I mostly am okay with this until I run into those who just don’t get me. Better said, those who take my weaknesses the wrong way. Try as I might to roll things off my shoulder, somethings just roll back up and weigh me down. I want to defend myself. I want to swear on the bible that there are things about me, times when I have a lot going on and I need to hide under my rock until it is safe to come out. There are times when I cannot form a sentence during a conversation and I have to just sit there. There are other times I cannot stop talking. There are never times, though, that I intentionally try to be mean. There are never times I would intentionally try to make someone feel bad.

I always try to be open about my introverted ways. I always try to compensate by being there (to the point I am probably annoying) when someone needs me. I don’t know. I just don’t know what else to say or how to prove myself any better.

4 thoughts on “I Don’t Know

  1. One of the tests I took said I was an INFJ, which is the rarest personality type out there. Sometimes called the extroverted introvert; but I understand what it is to be lost to a complex inner world where people are frustrating because they don’t get what’s going on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say of me: “I just don’t know what to do with you.” My advice to them has always been to stop trying to figure me out, it’ll be far less taxing on them and less intrusive to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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