Matt, I am covered in my favorite blanket listening to the sweet snoring of our dog Ranger. It isn’t actually a sweet sound at all. It is rather annoying. I am trying to block it out as I type up a little blog post for our anniversary that is tomorrow.

I am not good at blocking out such noises and presently I am thankful I cannot. I laugh at myself as I think of how a dog snoring can conjure up an idea. It is just the crazy way my mind works, I guess. Bear with me for a minute while I try to explain.

I glanced back at our dog and was tempted to say his name loudly in hopes he’d wake up from his slumber––so his snoring would cease. I stopped myself though. He looked so peaceful. Our dog has been through so much. We almost lost him. A thought popped up in my mind and it brought his snoring to a quiet background noise. What if we didn’t have Ranger?

It then got me thinking. What if I didn’t have you? You know, you have a sometimes annoying snore as well. What if I didn’t have your snore to wake me up? Seriously, what if we had never met? I’m going to make myself cry. No Matt in my life? Which would mean no Luke and no Oliver either. I can’t bear the thought. I love you and our precious family. I will never stop trying to be the best wife and mother I can be. You boys really do make it easy to never stop trying.

When you are married with kids it is easy to forget how life could have went another way. You get busy. You get used to your life and can take each other for granted. You can allow the little things turn into big things that cloud the good and beautiful things. I think we try not to, but sometimes it just happens.

I immediately think of you wanting to use my pillow or you wanting to sleep on my side of the bed. Do I get annoyed at this sometimes? Of course I do. When I take a step back, though, it is actually something I never want you to stop doing. Funny, how our boys do the same thing, isn’t it? They find comfort in our bed and in using their Mommy’s pillow and blanket. Nothing makes me feel more loved and special than you boys finding comfort in me.

I’m forever thankful every step in my life led me to you and that we now walk this crazy life side by side. I am blessed to have you. I love that you still find comfort in me after all these years. Maybe, just maybe, I ‘ll even let you use my pillow from time to time.

With all my love, Stacy.

I was pretty excited to find a line at the busy grocery store that had just one person checking out. You know that feeling, right? I bet you also know the feeling when you realize you picked the wrong line at the store. Like I said, I was pretty excited. I was able to immediately begin to unload my cart. I got about a quarter of the way unloaded when I had to wait for more room. I stood with a few things in hand waiting and watching. Everything moved soooooo slooooow. I kept my positive attitude, though. Maybe the cashier was having a hard time with something. I eventually saw the truth. She was just sloooow and I was stuck. Because, come on, I’m not going to reload my cart and find a new line. That would be mean. I would just stand there and wait––and complain in my head.

It finally was my turn. A lady behind me stood and waited and watched for a few minutes. She saw how sloooow the cashier was and decided to find a new line. Another lady came up and waited and watched. Same thing, she left for a new line. Man came. Same thing, he was out. I saw a supervisor or manager person walk past a few times watching her sloooowly do her job. So, instead of my eyes darting all over the store in boredom, I began watching her work. She never looked up, never stopped working, and wasn’t messing anything up.

Her small, shaky hands struggled to get the plastic bags apart. My impatience turned into understanding. “Those bags always seem to stick, don’t they?” She chuckled and said they do. She looked up, smiled, and continued working. It took her a very long time, but she finished. I swiped my card and it asked on the screen if I was satisfied with the check out time. No, was my first instinct. Then I changed my mind and pressed yes. I was satisfied because it made me stop and think.

We all need to slooow the you-know-what down. We expect to much from people. We want speed and we want perfection. I’m not just talking about wanting to find the fastest lines. We hurry with everything. We want the fast track. We want what we want when we want it. We want our kids to learn how to do this and that by a certain age. We worry and beat ourselves up when we see they don’t. We do the same for ourselves. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why is there so much pressure?

We are so busy rushing that we are missing the small moments. To me, it is the small moments that make life meaningful. Your wedding day is just another wedding day without all the small moments throughout. I’ll never forget the night before my wedding when I found a card Matt had hidden under my pillow for me. I’ll never forget a sentence that the pastor said that made me forget all the people staring at me from behind…which made me nervous. It was just Matt, me, and the pastor after that point. All those small moments were what brought beauty into our special day.

Let me not forget about God in this moral of the story. In all our rushing we are at risk of drowning out the blessings that God has right in front of us. That cashier was a blessing to me and I almost missed it. Wow. I almost missed something that I needed reminded of very badly.

What blessings might you have missed?

Today is the day after the eclipse and I am sitting here on my couch reflecting on our amazing adventure. We decided a while back that we would travel down to the path of totality. We booked a room in a small town in Tennessee and figured we’d choose a place of viewing once we were down there. That is how we take trips. We never over plan the details and it always works out better than we could ever envision. If you think about it, it is a good way to take life on, as well. Plan the things you must and don’t worry about the little details. Right? Right!

I feel as though I have so much I can share and I don’t know where to begin. Can I even find words to describe the experience? When I close my eyes, I can still feel the overwhelming emotions of the two and a half minutes of totality. More though, when I think of the entirety of the trip itself I am reminded of how small we all are. There is nothing more in life I enjoy more than humbling moments. This one tops them all. I wonder if we were to see another total eclipse, could it conjure up the same feeling(s)? If so, I shall beg my husband to become eclipse chasers.

The people of the eclipse may have impacted me just as much as the eclipse itself. Even at the hotel we met a couple whose daughter lives in our area. As I was talking to them, a young lady overheard us talking and picked up her stuff and sat with us. She just graduated from the local high school. Another man overheard and approached us because he lives close as well. Talking with them, we all found more connections. Oh, how I love connections.

The traffic to the eclipse wasn’t too bad. We bypassed some of the heavy traffic, thanks to my husband’s navigational skills. Us being us, we didn’t even decide on a spot to see the eclipse until we were almost there. Matt was checking out the map as I drove. He found a small town with a county park that seemed to be a perfect spot. It was! It was absolutely perfect. It had a beach and a splash pad for the kids to stay busy prior to the event. The place was not packed and was relaxing. Matt took the boys to play while I set up our spot.

There were two older ladies next to us that I started talking with. They were complete opposites of each other, but were best friends. I was fascinated by them both. Maybe because they were both a good mix of myself. One was a talkative lady who so obviously loved learning about people’s lives just as I do. The other was an introverted retired Air Force nurse who rekindled my love for nursing by her amazing stories and mark she made in nursing. When it was time for us to leave after the eclipse, both ladies gave me a huge hug. As I opened my car door one of the ladies said in her sweet southern accent, “We sure do have a lot in common.” I nodded and said, “We sure do. How glad I am that we decided to park by you ladies!”

Without further ado, the total eclipse. It is hard to describe. As Oliver said with his hands up, “It was just awesome.” Yes it was. It was awesome in the way awesome is intended to be. Awesome has been overused to the point it has lost its awesomeness. Anyway, in the moments leading up, everyone and everything became quiet and still. Anticipation built and it was as though you could feel it bubble up and then release when the moon fully covered the sun. All you could hear around were oohs and aahs and words such as awesome and amazing. Everyone looked around at each other as if to wonder if it was really happening. Matt described it as feeling like he was in movie. It was surreal.

One moment it was light and the next it was dark. It wasn’t pitch black though, which was good. All around in the distance it was like a 360 sunset with the beautiful colors peeking through. In the sky we saw the mighty black moon and a slight majestic glowing around it. It was the fastest two minutes of my life. It was the most awe-inspiring as well. Everything else left my mind. No worries, no to-do list, nothing but what was around me. We only snapped a couple picture and Matt took a quick video. When you see it, you just know a picture or a video cannot do it justice. Just like my words cannot do it justice.

The thing that stuck with me the most is how the moon completely covered the sun and yet there was a light that still remained. Reminds me of the world we live in.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

-John 1:5

“Luke gets more attention than me,” Oliver said matter of factly. He wasn’t whining or yelling. I could tell it wasn’t an easy thing for him to say. He stood there, staring up at me with his beautiful brown eyes. I felt his pain more than he’ll ever know. I reached down and picked him up. I apologized. All I could do was say sorry, because his words were true. Most of the time Luke gets more attention.

Oliver is very much his own person. He’s creative, wise, and kind. He’s the little brother that is always looking out for his big brother. He’s been that way since he could walk and talk. He’s a giver. He gives without expecting anything in return. Luke needs a brother like Oliver. He really does…and I thank God for their relationship.

Part of being a giver, is losing yourself in the needs of others. Oliver quietly gives and gives. His needs build and build until they boil over. All that is left is a little guy yearning for some attention. It sneaks up on him. It sneaks up on us too because he shows no signs. He happily gives. He is all smiles and love and cuddles…until he’s not. Boy can I relate!

In many ways, Luke will always require a bit more attention than Oliver. It is a fact. It is something we all recognize and try to do our best to balance the best we can. Maybe the key is encouraging Oliver to tell us like he did yesterday. Maybe that will save him from some of the struggles I’ve faced in my life.

Being a giver is a wonderful quality to have. I never want Oliver to lose that. As a parent, especially as a parent who can relate, I need to do a better job letting Oliver know that he can and should get his needs met as well.

I love my little giver!