Through the Stillness

Build and Live
I have never looked at a paved road and saw any beauty in it. To me, it intrusively breaks through nature, through God’s creation. This isn’t to say I do not travel on roads. Traveling is a part of life. Nevertheless, it is always an unsettled period of time, even if it is a mere five miles down the road. It is temporary. It is not where I want to be or stay.

What is especially on my mind as of late, are the times we end up stuck in places we do not want to stay. The temporary does not fleet, it slows to what feels like a halt. We live our moments watching down the road, searching for the place where the paved road ends, only to find a bend in the road blocking our view.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about this after reading Jeremiah 29:5-6, “Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiple there, and do not decrease.” These words were given to the exiles. Imagine being in exile and hearing that God wanted you to settle in.

God wanted them to live their lives where they were. He did not want them waiting until they were taken out of exile. Build the house, plant, and yes even multiply. It was not meant to be a time of pause. It was meant to be a time to continue living and trusting God.

God wants this for us today as well. Truly we can and should trust where we are because God’s power is strong enough to move and work through His people regardless of the circumstance…and regardless of our stubbornness and sinful nature or the stubborness and sinfulness of those around us.

I know, I know, the ugliness of the sin-filled world, of the intrusive paved road remains. The unsettled feeling lurks and hovers. Yet, we can recognize the beauty of the wildflowers that bloom in the most unlikely places, and remember God is still at work. We can see the cracks that continuously emerge regardless of the strength of the material used, and know the road is temporary but God’s plans and promises are not.
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August 1, 2026

bible, christianity, faith, God, Jesus
In My Magical Sky
When I was a little girl, I wanted to fly.

I’d close my eyes and picture the sky…

A bright sun to bring me warmth,

and soothing clouds for much needed shade.

Since this was all in my own little mind,

I created big sparkly stars in the daytime sky.

While I was at it, I thought why not?

I’ll transform into a cute pink pig.

No, no, no!

Not a pig. Pigs don’t even fly!

What shall I be then?

I must be pink.

I must fly! I must fly so very high!

I want to be magical too, you see.

Oh wait, a unicorn flies!

Oh yes, a unicorn I must be.

Horn? Check!

Wings? Double check!

Unicorns can lie in the lush green grass.

Unicorns can also fly high in the sky!

Many days I got lost in my mind.

I got lost in my magical sky.

Something was always missing though.

Something was never quite right.

All of it seemed so perfect.

But! None of it was real.

It was just my way to escape.

There was no real magic in that!

The real magic exists in my imperfect life,

learning to live with the good and the bad.

I never really needed a magical sky to fly.

(In honor of national reading month, I wrote a story for my mentee based off a picture she made.)
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March 6, 2026
It May Be Odd
I have been thinking about writing and how I miss the feeling I get in the midst of the flow. You know what I mean when I say flow? It is the flow of words that come to mind so quickly that my excited fingers cannot always even keep up with my mind. To me, typing words is similar to ASMR, or whatever it is called. The sound of my rhythmic finger tapping soothes me. Sometimes I fall so deep into a rhythm that I almost don’t even realize the words I am typing until I pause, read it, and think, hmmm I like the way those words go together. I even enjoy the editing part. The sound of a quick backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace carries its own tune that reminds me I can change what I have to say. I can make it better than it was before. I can fix my mistakes. I can even rewrite what I erased––if I so choose. Is this writing about the act of writing an odd thing to write about?

Maybe it is odd and maybe I do not/should not care. When I write, I have words that I created with care and intention. It is quite neat for me to read something that matters so much to me that every aspect of it, even the sound of tapping evokes something positive.

Speaking of words, I am in a women’s bible study that is reading a book about the power of words. What I am being reminded of is that the power not only lies in what I say, but how I say it, what I choose not to say, and even in what I allow to be said in my presence. The power I speak of can be good or bad. It can bring glory to God or bring a satisfying smirk to Satan’s face.

Now may be a good time to add, everyone messes up at times and we have a loving God full of mercy and grace. Let us remember that but not allow Satan’s satisfying smirk to continuously arise without trying to wipe it right back off.

I want to pose one more thought. What if we stopped defending our careless words? No more “I am just being real…it won’t be the last time someone dislikes me for saying what everyone else is thinking…or so on.” For example, what if we saw that really being real is admitting where the carelessness actually came from? (Pride, jealousy, hurt, insecurity…) Would it be odd to hear someone admit they were just being prideful and insecure? Yes, maybe initially it would be odd––but then maybe it would lead to real realness and eventually (hopefully) it could lead to a beautiful path of healing. Like the sound of backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace maybe it would change things, make things better than they were before, and fix mistakes––but of course not as quick and easy as my handy dandy little backspace button.

I don’t know, y’all. I feel like I may have turned something odd into something quite powerful to think about.
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January 9, 2026

books, creative-writing, fiction, life, writing
The Storms
This morning’s bible study ended with the parable of The Wise and Foolish Builders. I began thinking about some words I had written in my bible next to these verses. I remembered why I wrote them and knew these words would always be a reminder of the personal significance of this parable. My words were this:

The wise still experience the storms.

Matthew 7:24-27 says:

²⁴“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. ²⁶And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. ²⁷And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

(I once had a teacher who stressed that when scripture repeats itself, I should pay attention. Just as my wise teacher taught me, I urge you to pay attention to the repetition.)

If you read the first parts of both verses 25 and 27 you will see the words, “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house…” You see, both the wise man and the foolish man still experienced the same storm. Although the repetition here is not the full big picture meaning of this parable, it makes me pause and remember the struggles I had as a kid.

I believed, as a Christian, I should not feel the storms. It was as though being a Christian should take away all my struggles. I also felt shame for feeling the brokenness that remained in me and yet I could not stop myself from feeling it…and from seeing it in me and everyone else. I could share the reasons why I believed all of that, but it would take too long. What I will share is that I am grateful, so incredibly grateful, I had people teach me about God’s grace and to also affirm that I was indeed correct about the brokenness in each of us. It is the reason we need a Savior (duh).

So yep, we all feel the storms in life. We all have struggles. As Christians, when the winds beat against us, we can lean into our faith knowing we have a God who will never leave us or forsake us. We can tightly cling to the hope and truth that nothing in this broken world can ever take away.
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April 13, 2025

bible, christianity, faith, God, Jesus
The In Between
It isn’t always easy, you know, and I know,

living a life that pulls you to the in between.

Voting confidently one way,

and yet knowing it isn’t the only way.

Living one way and yet knowing,

we must stand arms wide open in the in between.

It is hard to accept, you know, and I know,

this life of being both sinner and saint.

We know what is right but yet we too fall short.

The utter pain and the relentlesss yearning,

to escape the brokenness that we all create.

How weary it is in this time of the in between.

We are to stand strong and admit we’re quite faint

as we show love with both truth and grace.

Point them to more and meet them where they’re at.

Be inclusive at our tables and share the exclusive fact:

There’s a loving Savior who died for us and for them.

Let’s give them the hope, show them the beauty, in the in between.
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February 12, 2025
Waiting for the Wind
I want to write a poem.

The kind that makes me not care if anyone else likes it.

The kind that brings joy and freedom, solace and strength.

I think I have been too busy for a poem.

My to do-list has swept my flowing words away.

Or maybe it’s more my words are stuck.

Yes, that must be it.

The poem I long to write is merely stuck.

I think of the days of my childhood,

sailing the waters in the Key of Sea.

Like a melodic tune, it flowed beautifully with the winds guidance.

The swelling sails swelled our hearts with joy.

Not every time though.

There were days feeble winds slowed our flow.

We coasted along ever so slowly.

All we could do is wait for the wind.

My words, my poem, will surely come.

Until then, I will simply wait for the wind.
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December 26, 2024

poem, poems, poetry, sailing, writing
His Love
What would our lives look like if we lived as though God loves us?

If we live as though we’ve surrendered to how wide, long, and deep His love is,

If we embrace the Mary in us who yearns to stop and sit at His feet,

Instead of the Martha who struggles to stop and grasp Him.

Suppose we could accept that He accepts us just as we are,

But doesn’t want us to stay just as we are,

Because He knows the true us He created us to be.

What would our lives look like if we loved as though God loved us?

If we strive to see others through the lens of His wide, long, and deep love,

If we understand their Martha who aches for love and affirmation,

And lead them to their Mary who doesn’t hesitate to sit in His presence.

Suppose we help them accept His love just as they are,

But they don’t want to stay just as they are,

Because our love, through His love, shows them who they’re created to be.
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August 4, 2024
Reflection
I took this picture while on vacation in Wisconsin. It makes me think of how we are supposed to be a reflection of God’s love. Just as the sky is imperfectly reflected on the water, we will never be capable of fully reflecting God’s love. It doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful and captivating.

What if we began to believe this? Not just for ourselves, but for others as well. It’s easy to accept our own imperfections and to know when the rough waters arise we naturally reflect less. We tend to be harder on others. Don’t we?

When their glimpses of God fade instead of shimmer, we act as though it isn’t there at all. We take it personal instead of pulling them on our boat or sitting with them through their storm. We tell others about their murky water. Then all the others begin to see is the murkiness you pointed out.

What if we began to help still the waters instead of creating more wake? Just imagine for a moment. We’d see more of God’s reflection in them and they’d see more of Him in ours.
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August 21, 2022
Clanging Cymbal
Have you ever had a memory of something that your entire body reacted to? Like, you remember a sight, touch, smell, sound, or taste that physically feels as though it is happening all over again. It is quite fascinating that our minds are that powerful, isn’t it?

A couple weeks ago our pastor did a sermon on judging others. Remember the story of the adulteress?

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:3-7).

This is what the sermon was based on and I keep thinking of it because I struggle with judging others from time to time. I also know how it feels to be judged. We all know how that feels and it truly can have devastating effects.

During the sermon we all had stones in our hands that they gave us as we entered the sanctuary. At one point the pastor threw his stone into a metal bucket to demonstrate how we need to let go of the stones we hold. It was disturbingly loud and sent a shock-like reaction throughout my entire body. Other times throughout the sermon he would pick up another stone and throw it into the metal bucket. Even though I knew what was coming, my body reacted the same each time. I remember squeezing the rock in my hand thinking of times I have wrongly judged others.

It was brilliantly done. It was also convicting.

Too many christians justify their judgment of others. I too have justified my judgments. Satan uses this as a way to divide the christian community. I’m going to repeat. Satan uses this as a way to divide the christian community. As long as there is judgment, slander, gossip, and so on whatever good works you are doing for God will be weaker. It definitely isn’t bringing as much glory to God. Guaranteed. When I think of this coming from Satan, it makes me realize how important it is for us to hear it and then guard ourselves against it. It isn’t easy. It especially isn’t easy to speak out against it when you are with a group of people doing it. It gives me anxiety just to think of it.

Looking through the bible, there are numerous passages I can share to back up my thoughts. The one that stands out the most though is 1 Corinthians 13:1 because I believe lack of love causes all of this. As Christians, we use our spiritual gifts to further the kingdom and to strengthen our brothers and sisters in Christ. The verse says:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1).

I think of my body’s reaction to the stones being thrown into the metal bucket…it is the same reaction I would have to a clanging cymbal. Without love, we are a disturbing sound that sends a shock-like reaction throughout our entire bodies. Yikes.
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April 14, 2022

christianity, life
Edit
I remember the first time I had a piece published in a magazine. I was ecstatic. Then, the edits began. I should’ve used this word instead of that one. I should’ve put this sentence in front of that one. Mind you, the piece was already published. There were no edits needed. I was editing in my mind instead of praising God for the work He did through me.

As of late, I find myself doing this in my every day life as well. If I did more of this and less of that then my life would be better and easier. If I said this instead of that then she wouldn’t have rolled her eyes. If I seemed less excited. More excited? There’s something missing! No, no, no, and no. I need to praise God for the way He made me while knowing that I can never take away all my struggles…no matter how many “edits” I make.

Every strength comes with a struggle. There are flaws found everywhere and in everyone. I believe God made it that way to keep us humble and to remember where and who our strength comes from.

The end.
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March 15, 2022